Having my wife and children away for the last 10 days has gotten me to thinking a lot about our relationship. More specifically, how much I missed her and how I wanted to show her that when she gets back home.
I did a few of the things that seemed pretty obvious. I cleaned the whole house. I got rid of all the clutter that had accumulated since the end of the school year. Tossed some old toys. Donated some old clothes. Did every bit of laundry I could find. Dishes. Mopping. Dusting. Vacuuming. I realize that if she happens to walk in the door after the three boys (and the whirlwind they create) that she may not get the full effect of the work I did. So I needed to do something more.
I picked up some flowers and put them on the table in the front hallway. But I still wanted to do more this time.
I bought a blank card and decided to write her a love letter. Now, I enjoy writing, but putting into words how much I had missed her wasn’t as easy as I would have thought. I could have taken the easy way out and just found a nice “missed you” card at the store, but that seemed insufficient. I needed to put it in my own words.
For those of you that don’t enjoy writing, it may be even more difficult to put your feelings down on paper. Here are some things you need to help you get started:
1. No matter what you write, your wife/husband is going to love getting your letter
The fact that you took the time to write how you feel about them is going to let them know your love for them is important to you.
2. Write what you feel, deep down
Don’t be afraid. Give yourself permission to show your passionate side. It may sound a little silly, but when they read it your openness will warm them to the core.
3. Don’t wait for a special occasion
This doesn’t mean you can forget the cards/letters on your anniversary, but you don’t need to limit yourself to these occasions. Any day is a good day to tell them how much you love them.
4. Delivering your letter
If you think far enough ahead, I suggest putting it in the mail. We all like getting letters in the mail, but a romantic love letter from your spouse tops the list.
I hope this helps put a little spark in your love life. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a love letter back from them someday!
Know Your Role. Exceed Your Goals.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Be A Great Husband
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” Proverbs 18-22
A lot of times in this section, I focus on being a Dad. It’s important to remember that a big part of being a great dad, is being a great husband.
You could ask twenty different women what a “great husband” is or does, and you will likely get twenty different answers. Some women want a husband that gets things done around the house without being asked. Others enjoy receiving gifts. Some just want to spend time alone with their husbands talking about feelings.
I’d say a great first step in being a great husband is finding out what it means to your wife. What is it that she appreciates most about what you do? Or, what does she wish you could try to do better? Once you know, it may take some work on your part, but you need to try to accommodate those things.
One of the people I work with just told us about a trip he took with his wife. He is a husband that is very comfortable getting things done. Tell him what you need fixed, or built, and he is all over it. His wife, however, would prefer spending time with him – alone. “We went for a walk along the pier holding hands. We just kept walking & talking (I was mostly listening). It would have been a lot easier for me to show my love by fixing the washing machine. For that matter, even doing the washing!” But he did it anyway. That is what a great husband does!
Sometimes our walk with the Lord isn’t always “comfortable” but we do it anyways. Being married doesn’t always mean doing what we are comfortable doing, but we are lucky that we have found a wife that loves us. Whatever it takes to keep that relationship strong – do it.
A lot of times in this section, I focus on being a Dad. It’s important to remember that a big part of being a great dad, is being a great husband.
You could ask twenty different women what a “great husband” is or does, and you will likely get twenty different answers. Some women want a husband that gets things done around the house without being asked. Others enjoy receiving gifts. Some just want to spend time alone with their husbands talking about feelings.
I’d say a great first step in being a great husband is finding out what it means to your wife. What is it that she appreciates most about what you do? Or, what does she wish you could try to do better? Once you know, it may take some work on your part, but you need to try to accommodate those things.
One of the people I work with just told us about a trip he took with his wife. He is a husband that is very comfortable getting things done. Tell him what you need fixed, or built, and he is all over it. His wife, however, would prefer spending time with him – alone. “We went for a walk along the pier holding hands. We just kept walking & talking (I was mostly listening). It would have been a lot easier for me to show my love by fixing the washing machine. For that matter, even doing the washing!” But he did it anyway. That is what a great husband does!
Sometimes our walk with the Lord isn’t always “comfortable” but we do it anyways. Being married doesn’t always mean doing what we are comfortable doing, but we are lucky that we have found a wife that loves us. Whatever it takes to keep that relationship strong – do it.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Daddy..Daddy..Daddy
The other day I took my two youngest boys to Sports Authority to pick up a few things. It had been raining for most of the day, and we just needed to get out of the house for a little bit.
I sort of wish that I had one of those little hand held counter devices to keep track of the number of times I heard the word "Daddy" along the way. The each had question after question for me. Most of them were about baseball. Some of them were about driving a car. But they were non-stop!
For about a second I noticed myself getting tired of hearing "Daddy.." so many times. Then I remembered how good it feels to have them asking me questions. I want to be the one that they come to whenever they want to get an answer to something. Anything. For now, it's about sports or cars, but how cool will it be when they come to me with questions about girls? About jobs? About family? About Christ? If I were to just ask them to stop asking so many questions now when they are young, what would make them come to me when the questions are more serious?
My wife is taking all three boys on a trip with my mother-in-law for a couple of weeks. I'm really going to miss her. I'm also going to miss hearing "Daddy" followed by a question each time.
I sort of wish that I had one of those little hand held counter devices to keep track of the number of times I heard the word "Daddy" along the way. The each had question after question for me. Most of them were about baseball. Some of them were about driving a car. But they were non-stop!
For about a second I noticed myself getting tired of hearing "Daddy.." so many times. Then I remembered how good it feels to have them asking me questions. I want to be the one that they come to whenever they want to get an answer to something. Anything. For now, it's about sports or cars, but how cool will it be when they come to me with questions about girls? About jobs? About family? About Christ? If I were to just ask them to stop asking so many questions now when they are young, what would make them come to me when the questions are more serious?
My wife is taking all three boys on a trip with my mother-in-law for a couple of weeks. I'm really going to miss her. I'm also going to miss hearing "Daddy" followed by a question each time.
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