Mistakes- Would You Change Them?

This morning at work we watched a video from Andy Stanley regarding the mistakes we have made, and creating a new standard for ourselves as we make decisions now. It was a great message that encouraged me to consider the decisions that I need to make utilizing my past, my current situations and the goals that I have for the future.

There was a part at the beginning of the message that was a little bit troubling for me. He wanted everyone to think about all of the mistakes we have made - relationship mistakes, financial mistakes, moral mistakes, etc. and how we often wish that we could go back and change them. This is something in particular that I have spent a lot of time going over in my head, and have come to a pretty clear realization concerning all of my past "mistakes".

I have been as bad as anyone in looking back on the decisions I've made. "I wish I had studied this in school. I wish I saved some of that money that I had spent on drugs. I wish I had never met so and so." But now I look at all of those things differently. I had to make those decisions to be where I am today. I used to say to my wife that it was literally every left turn and every right turn that we had ever taken that led us to eachother. God is, and was, in control of all those things, just like He is in control over all things. It's been played out in movies before-what if the guy stepped off the curb just a little sooner and got picked off by the bus, or if he didn't wait at the stop sign he may not have met the love of his life around the next corner. The thing is, that all of the things we have done were a part of His plan for us.

As soon as I give my mind the opportunity to try to "change" one of those things that I had done, I put myself in control. Not only that, but I have to also change everything about where I am now. I wouldn't have met my amazing wife. I wouldn't be the father to three incredible little boys. It's pretty clear that I also wouldn't have become a Christian. Thankfully, God let me make all of those turns, kept me alive even when I didn't really want to be, and got me to today.

I don't talk about those "mistakes", or choices anymore, unless it is to demonstrate how great He is to have used them all for my own good. To show how incredible His grace, His love and His forgiveness has been in my life. I wouldn't tell other people to do some of the things that I have done, but I wouldn't want to change any of them-for me. I needed to make each and every one of them.

You Are Either All-In or Not

When we decide to accept that there is just one God, and that he is completely sovereign over all things, than we are all-in.

When I talk to people about my faith, in particular my life before accepting Christ as my savior, they often try to dissect it. "Well, you don't really think that being addicted to drugs was part of His plan for you, do you?" I can only answer that, yes, I do believe it was part of His plan for me. I also believe that when my wife was declared legally-blind when she was just 17, that this was part of His plan for her. It may be hard to accept at the time, but it is easy to see now how God used both of these things to bring us together.

Now, I wouldn't recommend anyone else try to take the path that I took, but it was absolutely what had to happen to me in order for me to be where I am today. Jesus was in control of my life, even though I hadn't accepted him. He knew the plans he had for me even before I was born.

Having the faith and the understanding that there is a God who is in control of all things makes it easier for us to accept the things that come our way. Life still happens. There are health struggles. Financial struggles. Relationship struggles. But accepting the truth that we are not in control, but that there is a God who loves us that is, it takes some of the weight off of our shoulders and remain focused on the blessings that we have. It's kind of nice having some of that pressure gone. I sure didn't react well when I thought it was all on me.

The One that is Just Like Me

When we were younger my brother and I were (for the most part) responsible kids. When we were old enough to stay at home alone, our parents trusted that we would make the right decisions. But there were times we weren't so responsible or respectful where my parents would look at us and say (almost like a curse), "I hope your children do to you what you did to us."

My brother is in a totally different world with his kids. He has three beautiful little girls that are going to be giving him all kinds of grief. And if it isn't them, it will be the boys that come around his house that might do him in.

Not me. I have three boys. Each time one of them was around two years old, my mom would say that that was the one that was just like me, finished off with a hearty "Ha Ha Ha, Chuck." Obviously they can't all be just like me, When we just had two, it was easy for me to see which one was me, and which one was my brother. One time when the older one was sitting nicely watching something on t.v. when the younger (now middle-child) just went up to him and pushed him in the back. I couldn't help but laugh and call my brother to say that I was watching my kids re-enact something that happened between us so many times. Then the third little guy came and threw me for a loop. He's not exactly like me, and not quite like my brother. It will take me some time to figure him out.

What I am worried about is the middle one. He is very much a little version of me. There are good things about this, and some very troubling things as well. I know that as he grows up, he will never have a problem with sports. He isn't going to be a bully, and will stick up for the anyone that needs it. The thing I am worried about is him taking care of himself. It took me years to accept the fact that I dealt with depression. And even when I did realize it, it took even longer for me to actually do something about it. There were a lot of times that God was working overtime, because I am still here, despite the fact that I didn't want to be.

As I watch him grow up, I am afraid that he is going to face the same internal struggles that I did. He isn't quite old enough yet to try to explain to him what I went through, and that it doesn't have to be that way for him. And who knows, maybe the fact that he is growing up knowing that there is a God who loves him and wants only the best for him, just like his parents want for him, that he won't get down as low as I did.

I knew my parents loved me, and that still wasn't enough. I'm praying that he finds a relationship with Him sooner then I did.