Wanna Fight?

In a lot of ways, I grew up soft. I never got in a fight. I didn't play football or wrestle. Nobody ever picked on me. If there ever was any real conflict, I could just stand there or talk through the situation. A few times I had to stick up for somebody that couldn't stand up for themselves, but like they say, usually bullies just back down when somebody stands up to them.

As much as all of that is good, I still feel like I missed out on something. I guess it is just the nature of Man, but I feel like I never got tested. How would I have reacted if I actually did have to fight?

I guess that need for physical tests led me to triathlons. Nobody was trying to hurt me, so I decided I would put myself out there and test myself. Pretty quickly I realized that in triathlon, one of the biggest challenges you can take on is the Ironman. It's a 2.4mi. swim, 112mi. bike and a 26.2mi run. You get 17 hours to cross the finish line. My first one took me 16:40. I ended up finishing three more Ironman races after that. Once I got done with those tests, I got lazy. I stopped exercising and put on a ton of weight. I had passed the test. But something was still missing.

In triathlons, you are competing against other people, but the bigger competition is with yourself. Are you going to quit or keep going? Having "been there and done that" a few times meant I needed to find a new challenge. Again, it is just part of being a man.

I wasn't going to go out and pick fights at the bars just to see how I would do. Besides, when a big night on the town usually means dinner with my wife before going to Target to pick up some diapers, you don't run into a whole lot of people looking to start trouble.

I had seen one of the earliest UFC events back in the mid-90's. Here was this guy (Royce Gracie) who was a master at Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), beating up all guys that usally outweighed him by 50-100lbs. I started looking into it a bit more and found out there was a BJJ school right near where I lived. I wasn't there for self-defense. After all, I had made it 35 years without getting into a fight. But I needed some reason to exercise. And I found out that they have BJJ competitions all the time. Perfect!

So now, whenever I go to class I get tested. I have a chance to either choke somebody or get choked myself. Every night is a test. And then, every few months I sign up for a competition to test myself against people from other schools. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. But at least I'm out there challenging myself. I'm filling that void.

And as a Christian Dad, it is good for my three sons to come watch every once in awhile. They see that Daddy isn't scared. They see that I'm working hard. That this is part of being a man. And they see that I don't always win, but that I keep on trying. They still love me, even when I lose, just like they know that I love them - win or lose.

Just keep on fighting, boys. Your Dad is proud of you, Just like your Father is.